always

We HAVE ALL been there. Those days of sheer frustration. Things don’t always go as planned, in life, or in mommyhood. Take a deep breath because…. that’s OKAY.

Anyone who has had little ones knows there are days when the sun is shining through every inch of their skin like if they ate the sun, happy as can be. Then .. there’s those days where they can be compared to a crawling, walking, babbling miniature gremlins. BUT HEY we all have our good and bad days !! Sometimes I really don’t know how I am going to get through the day or hold myself together long enough for Hayli’s dad to come home and have some actual human interaction besides baby talk babbling and “Finding Dory”.

DISCLAIMER: I love my daughter, more than anyone else in this world. I want nothing but the best for her and I want nothing more then to be the best mommy to her! I am more than sure there a few of you can relate !

 

ON THOSE DAYS

On those days where I am holding on to every last ounce of my patience for dear life

 

I just think how she needs me more than ever now, as she is  learning, growing and she needs the reassurance that someone is there. MOM is here, and always will be. No matter how many things I need to get done, how much of a mess my house is or how much of a break I need for myself, if she needs me, I will drop everything for her. Whether its a tantrum now, at her first school game, her first fall off of a bike, her first heartbreak, for ANYTHING I am here.

I am the one who will teach her what love, patience, and comfort is, well her dad and I. For now, I am with her all day, every day. These are the moments that I am going to cherish for the rest of my days. Its important to STOP and live the moment with her.

CRAWL around with your babies, play hide and seek, do things THEY LOVE. Get down to their level, into their little WORLD. You have no idea how much they need that, to feel like you are there for the good as much as the bad. And how much they will LOVE it.

 

I crawled with Hayli the other day, (Yes i got down and spent half an hour chasing her around the house, and letting her chase me) you have no IDEA how much that little girl laughed, and how excited she was.

Yesterday Hayli girl was sleeping so peacefully in her crib after having a rough afternoon, I couldn’t help myself but to get in with her. She woke a few minutes later when she heard her dad come home, but she woke up to me. She did a whole double take, like if she couldn’t believe it and just started laughing and hugging me. She wont remember that one day, she probably already forgot. I didn’t, I never will.

But the feeling of joy that gave her, will ALWAYS be there. And one day she will be able to understand more than she does now, that for anything she can come to her momma.

 

 

DAYCARE? DO OR DONT

I have to admit, Ive been lucky. Since my pregnancy I really, havent worked. As soon as the baby was born I was a stay at home mom, and I LOVE IT! Recently, I was feeling a bit crazy being stuck in the house with no form of my own income so I set out to find a job. My only dilemma…DAYCARE. What a nightmare of a thought, my little girl basically being raised by someone else with other kids of her age and who knows if she was going to get the attention and care she so much needs. While I was checking out a daycare in the area, the Administrator offered me a position in the daycare, along with schooling to get certified! I was so happy, a job that I can see and spend time with my Hayli all day?! WHILE going to school?! UM WHERE DO I SIGN?!

About two weeks into working at the daycare, I started realizing a few things, a few…red flags. ALOT happens in daycares and it happens QUICK! Kids are miniature Houdini’s with their size to their advantage! It isnt the teachers fault all the time things REALLY DO happen in the matter of a few seconds. Granted, when you have 10 one year olds all under your care at once, its pretty difficult to keep your eyes on them ALL while you are trying to keep every diaper clean, the classroom in order and trying to get some form of knowledge into them whether its counting or colors! 

Teachers DO pick favorites and some kids DO get special treatment. As much as they deny it it, IT HAPPENS. Sometimes because of the parents, kids get treated differently. ITS NOT FAIR. And it sucks because we believe we’re putting our kids somewhere fair, safe and healthy but these ages is where most behavioral issues begin! 

It is great on the fact that some teachers DO teach. They do their part the best to their abilities to teach the kids at their level and kids DO learn. In that aspect, its great, 

I did love it when I started, but I noticed a few things that I really didnt like, especially with my own daughter involved I wasnt going to stay and watch. I mean there wasnt ONE DAY that Hayli didnt come home with a new scratch, bitemark, or bruise, or SOMETHING. I understand things happen but I’ve taken care of her for almost a year at home and she’s only had 1 major diaper rash. The day she got in there until now 2 weeks later is when its finally healing. She is picking up behaviors of the other kids, becoming a MAJOR BRAT and I do not want to deal with a huge brat at the age of 1. She is like a whole new baby I miss my nice little girl!! 

Im not all that sure if it all weighs out for me. So now, Im back home! Considering maybe taking Hayli to another daycare and working OR trying to find my own way to make money right here at home, with my girl.  

I see these mommy bloggers making what seems like tons of money from home doing what they love! What is the secret?! I just want to be able to make some type of income while taking care of my home, hubby and baby! How do moms get these brand rep and ambassador gigs?! How can I start a successfull youtube channel?! I have so many questions!!!

 

Here’s to Adulthood

Growing up I always pictured my 21st birthday to be a pretty reckless event. I mean, full of friends, liquor and a huge hangover the next day. Last year I spent my 21st Birthday 6 months pregnant, drinking a virgin Piña Colada. Today, there is no escaping it, I am really no longer a teenager. I spent my 22nd Birthday with my hubby and baby girl and couldn’t be any happier eating my Ice cream cake surrounded by family and friends.

Here’s to adulthood. What I’ve come to realize is that it’s all the little things. Having a quiet moment to yourself, a clean house, laundry done, dishes clean and dinner ready. Simple things that bring some peace of mind in a moms world.

At 22 the things that I seem to catch myself day dreaming about are the new appliances due to arrive to my house this weekend. A new fridge, washer and dryer. Why am I so excited about these things? I opened my Etsy shop today, something that before, I wouldn’t have really cared about, here I am today hoping for a successful Shop, a beginning to my entrepreneurial carrier.

I blew out my birthday candles and I realized after, that I hadn’t made a wish. Not to crawl up the corny tree but everything I could have wished for, I thankfully have. My healthy daughter, a great relationship with my best friend, friends and family around me. I didn’t make a wish but a simple thank you, to blow out my candles. Thank you because things are finally seeming to go so right.

So here’s to adulthood, where it’s all the little things that make up the big things. 🎂

Postpartum Depression and Hair

Its been quite awhile since I last posted, took a bit of a breather from everything almost. Sometimes natural disasters have their way of putting people where they belong. In my case, Hurricane Irma just sucked, moved my life around a bit but couldn’t get me out of the keys 😋

After pregnancy and giving birth, I felt like I had lost myself. Got caught in what seemed to be like somewhat of a postpartum depression. I didn’t care what I looked like, I would forget to eat, or shower, everything was about the new baby, and I put myself last on the list. I felt like I didn’t have an identity anymore. I was just a mom, and I didn’t matter. My life was turning into a blur. I loved being a mom, it’s all I’d ever wanted. I would wake up and just experience the same cycle, no one is ever prepared for the way your life changes. I mean, everyone tells you, but you don’t really fully grasp what they say until you experience it for yourself. The highs and the lows. Your heart has never felt such love, your life has never seen such a beautiful reason, but your body has never felt such aches and pains, and your mind has never been so anxious and an emotional carnival. I lost sight of myself and I noticed it was taking a toll on everything. On me, my daughter, my relationship, my whole life really. People don’t realize how serious postpartum can get. Until one day I woke up and realized It was enough, I had to snap the fuck outta that one, make a change, and commit. And the only way I was going to begin acting the way my mind was thinking. It was the best way I know how to refresh myself, the woman’s right of passage into figuring out who they are, I died my hair. From my natural dirty blonde hair, I went to really, really blonde. I kept looking at myself in the mirror and kept thinking, blondes are too nice. DISCLAIMER I’m naturally a blonde and I want to return to blonde one day. I have nothing whatsoever against blondes. But it makes me the nice girl; it’s impossible for me to have made that change being an innocent, blonde. I mean, my mind, my body was asking for something a bit more drastic. so I went red. Fire bomb red, take no shit red, cliche as it sounds, my life changed all over again the moment I looked in the mirror after I saw my new look.

Since then I died it down to a wine red, but a change of scenery, if you will, was all I needed. Well that and ofcourse my heavy addiction to coffee to keep me awake throughout my daily adventures with my not so little baby girl.

I give it to you moms, who have dealt with, and are dealing with postpartum, sometimes it’s not as easy as just dying your hair, or taking a day off. It’s some serious business and I hope you each find your own healthy outlet to get you back to yourself !! As women we are strong and if we can deal with our children, pregnancy, child birth, and our husbands, we can get over any other obstacles! 💪🏻

Can’t Live Withouts!

With a rapidly growing baby girl, I’m always on my move, learning new things with her, growing and changing my way of doing things. I can definitely say being a mom has changed me. I used to be pretty reckless and didn’t really care how things were done, all I wanted was to be out, driving around, with friends, just living life for the moment really… its like I’ve done a complete 180 without really even feeling it. I care way too much about every detail and I want things for my daughter to be done right and make her happy. I plan most things ahead of time and I always find myself making excuses to stay in and play with my baby rather than looking for excuses to get out! And I actually feel bad when I go out without her! Now I actually think about our future, the household I want her to grow up in, the things I do and don’t want her exposed to, the goals I’m setting for myself so that one day she can surpass. Things really do change. Its been disappointing but I’ve left people behind, and have no problem dropping anymore that doesn’t improve my life or Hayli’s life for that matter. It’s not even like she is demanding these changes, they are really just coming naturally. And although it has been a tough road getting to where I’m at, having a newborn and adjusting to mom life hasn’t been easy, I’m so excited for the things I have yet to learn and what lies ahead for us. As cliche and disgustingly sappy as it might sound, I feel like I was made to be a mom, her mom.

BUT OF COURSE there are a few items that help me keep my cool so that I could be the best (happiest) mom I could possibly be! Here they are (& YOUR WELCOME)

1.  EXCUSE that it is a bit dirty. I literally throw this in the washer every 2 or 3 days. It’s perfect for me because she loves to hold on to a blanket and throw it over her face as she sleeps. I can easily take off the paci to clean it or switcch it out, amd when shes ready, take it off for GOOD! It rattles and makes a light noise, AND holds a pacifier! WIN WIN pacifier doesn’t fall everywhere, it’s easier for her to hold, AND I dont need to carry around a comfort blanket aswell. 3 in 1 how awesome and for 6 bucks? Even bigger win. Thanks Carter! Here’s the link! And check out the other styles too! Security Blanket and Pacifier
   

   

    

2. I bought this yesterday because she was terribly sick after her shots, and I love it so damn much I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT. Its oh so cute, with so many different ones to choose from, ELLIOT THE ELEPHANT! Oh Elliot thank you. Hayli couldn’t eat from a bottle yesterday, take a nap or even hold the paci on her mouth because she couldn’t breath. As soon as we turned on this humidifier, in 20 minutes, she was so much better! Easy to clean and really cute and did I mention comes with a 1 Year subscribstion to Parents magazine? THE WINS JUST DON’T STOP!! Crane Humidifier

 

3.  I originally had the bulb syringe that the hospital kindly gives away when you give birth, and I loved it! Until I read into it, as much as I would clean it (after every use) I was terrified of what could be going on on the inside.. Mold? So I cut mine open, low and behold there was not much, but some mold. And it has a curved sucky thing instead of just a straight one like the bulb! So thankful I decided to open it and throw it out! I have heard SO MANY raves about the Nosefrieda and wanted to try it.. until I thought about using it on the go.. I f Hayli needed snot sucked out, was I going to pull out the whole string and use my mouth to suck her snot? Lol no. So I opted for the NeilMed NasaBulb and I am so thankful that I did. Its clear, so I can see EXACTLY whats coming out (and what is inside) , Its very easy to clean and pull apart, super portable, and comes with an extra one!! So I get 2 for around 5 dollars? Can’t beat it! 

4. OK so Hayli is starting to teeth BAD and I have tried EVERYTHING. Theres a few things she likes but by far her FAVORITE (as in she doesnt give me that ‘WTF MOM’ look) has been the Raz Baby teether. They have awesome products (that I have yet to try) but the RazBaby paci definetely works. It is actually soft but has ridges, it grabs baby’s attention because it’s colorful and easy for her to hold!! I LOVE THIS and it definetely makes my life easier and with a price that I love just as much. RazBaby

5. I just moved, and I have NO IDEA where I placed my old one, so I just went and got a new one!!!  Im starting to introduce solids and fruits to Hayli and this item is just plain fun to use and I can literally put a million different things in it. Sometimes I freeze her baby food into little balls and throw 2 in at a time, for a light snack that helps with her aching gums, or an ice cube, but my favorite so far has been freezing slices of fruit and throwing them in there! The best way to entertain her, give her a fresh and healthy snack, and ease her pain ALL IN ONE love love LOVE. Munchkin Fresh Feeder

 

There are many more products that I love and cannot live without! Im pretty sure that by the time I post this I will have remembered the other ones but these stand out FOR SURE beyond thankful for these. Im sure I have SO MUCH MORE TO LEARN and products to try but for now these are it! How about you??

Read at your own risk

Pregnancy is a magical time in your life where a gallon of coffee is NEEDED but a cup a day is ‘safe’ and you wish you were filled with taco’s instead of emotions.

In the begining, brushing your teeth is something you dread because it’s instant morning sickness.

between the insomnia, heartburn, and an uncomfortable bulging belly who can sleep? Practice for the new baby some say? Me? Im not so sure.

Your dreams are on LSD. You can barely remember what you just did or what you were about to do. Who new pregnancy was just a long trip?

Sleep? That bitch ditched me.

So you stare at your husband jealous as hell and inconspicuously wake him up to suffer with you. Even though you’ll still lose because there is not enough darkness to put you to sleep at night but once you FINAALLY get comfortable enough to sleep, you have to pee! 🙂 And then sleep all day, ofcourse.

And then there’s .. wait for it…

PREGNANCY BRAIN

that will have you opening your front door with your car alarm, and losing your shit trying to find your phone, when it’s in your hand! 😀 (isn’t that fun?)

When your uncontrollable bladder is the only productive part of your body because you have to pee so you pee, and then after you pee you still have to pee, but you can’t pee.. because you just peed. YEAH THAT JUST HAPPENED. about 70 times a day.

OH YEAH! And once you’re in your 3rd trimester, DON’T SNEEZE unless you don’t mind peeing yourself a little at the same time.

The best part, after awhile, you can’t see your own lady parts anymore. And your skin, is no longer your friend because you will be wanting to scratch yourself like a cat with fleas but if you do… stretch marks so you sit there and get bullied by your own damn skin.

and ohhh the HORMONES!

When you can’t tell if it’s the pregnancy making you a bitch, or if you have a valid reason for your behavior. Because one second you’re a fun, loving woman who hugs her man like a teddy bear and in the blink of an eye, he turns into a disgusting roach that you can’t stand and need gone ^_^ or crying because Mcdonalds is all out of Sweet and Sour sauce so you feel like the world is plotting against you for sure, especially with that notorious broken ice cream machine!!

And you can’t forget the hunger! So tired of physically eating but you just can’t get enough of stuffing your face with anything that you can possibly think of. And those cravings that plague your husband in the middle of the night.. every night, and once he gets smart enough to start buying your cravings ahead of time, they change! :)) nauseous because your hungry buuut also can’t eat because guess what?! Nauseous. Or running to your neighbors house, 3 blocks away because whatever they are making, smells delish.

And to think that after all that chaos, you will feel weird to not be pregnant after you have your baby … the best part, YOUR AFTER BABY BODY like RIGHT AFTER will not last the swelling goes down and the burning stops. Life will be good again! SOON!!

No Photo Album? No Problem

Moms have such busy lives between working, taking care of the little’s, and taking care of every other little thing life throws at you. If you’re anything like me, you’re a mommy that would do almost anything to save some time and make your life a bit easier and stay organized and SAVE MONEY! Something like a little ‘hack’ a life hack, or better yet a Mom hack!

No Photo Album? No Problem

With all the advanced technology, I don’t know of one mom my age that is making a physical old school photo album like the ones our parents used to have. I for one, would LOVE to make one for my little, but am I going to make her carry all that around for the rest of her life? In her future house one day she is going to have a bin FULL of albums that I would leave behind, plus whatever she has of her own kids. What if there is (God Forbid) a fire or some kind of emergency (I live on a boat so technically anything can happen) that we need to rush out of the house? I KNOOOW the first thing on my mind will definitely NOT be grabbing a ton of photo albums! LOL. I left all of mine at my moms house. 

How do I save her pictures? 

First baby food!! Sept 24/17

When she was born I made an email address for her, and once a week or once a month when I actually have enough time to sit and go through my phone’s photo album, I send her pictures and tell her all the new things shes been doing. (I literally take thousands of pictures of her so it takes a long time!) And since I have an Iphone it tells you the date you took the picture. For example the first time she held her feet, and I snapped a photo, when I sent it to her I put the date in the email.

Or the first time she ate una compota or a baby food with a spoon I sent her the picture with the date! (See above 🙂 

Play dates with her cousins, or friends babies, even pictures with her big brother and funny things he says (he is almost 4)! Or I send her funny things she does,

eyeing my Nightowl Cookie!

 little stories and poems I come across, some probably too sappy for when she can actually read it but one day in the future she will enjoy it. I also gave her email address to her grandparents and dad, even though her dad and I are together he sends her some pictures he takes with her too! On her 18th Birthday we will give her the password, or come to think of it maybe her 15th Birthday since she will most likely have a traditional Quinceaera since we’re Hispanic. If she should want to then, we can print out any photos that she wants or she and I can create an album together! 

Not everyone has this Im guessing but there’s an app called Snapchat, that has an option to save photos in your app account that you can save to any device as well or export through email which can work to save photos and videos as well! And they have cute little filters you can add to your photos! 

Google photos is also my go to app because anything that I take on my phone whether it is a picture, video, or anything I save from Snapchat, goes directly saved into the app as well and directly into my email archives. If my phone gets lost, I still have all my photos saved, all I have to do is sign into my email address and voila! 

Im sure there are plenty other awesome ways to share and save photos, comment anything else you do to save photos I would love to see what everyone does !