DAYCARE? DO OR DONT

I have to admit, Ive been lucky. Since my pregnancy I really, havent worked. As soon as the baby was born I was a stay at home mom, and I LOVE IT! Recently, I was feeling a bit crazy being stuck in the house with no form of my own income so I set out to find a job. My only dilemma…DAYCARE. What a nightmare of a thought, my little girl basically being raised by someone else with other kids of her age and who knows if she was going to get the attention and care she so much needs. While I was checking out a daycare in the area, the Administrator offered me a position in the daycare, along with schooling to get certified! I was so happy, a job that I can see and spend time with my Hayli all day?! WHILE going to school?! UM WHERE DO I SIGN?!

About two weeks into working at the daycare, I started realizing a few things, a few…red flags. ALOT happens in daycares and it happens QUICK! Kids are miniature Houdini’s with their size to their advantage! It isnt the teachers fault all the time things REALLY DO happen in the matter of a few seconds. Granted, when you have 10 one year olds all under your care at once, its pretty difficult to keep your eyes on them ALL while you are trying to keep every diaper clean, the classroom in order and trying to get some form of knowledge into them whether its counting or colors! 

Teachers DO pick favorites and some kids DO get special treatment. As much as they deny it it, IT HAPPENS. Sometimes because of the parents, kids get treated differently. ITS NOT FAIR. And it sucks because we believe we’re putting our kids somewhere fair, safe and healthy but these ages is where most behavioral issues begin! 

It is great on the fact that some teachers DO teach. They do their part the best to their abilities to teach the kids at their level and kids DO learn. In that aspect, its great, 

I did love it when I started, but I noticed a few things that I really didnt like, especially with my own daughter involved I wasnt going to stay and watch. I mean there wasnt ONE DAY that Hayli didnt come home with a new scratch, bitemark, or bruise, or SOMETHING. I understand things happen but I’ve taken care of her for almost a year at home and she’s only had 1 major diaper rash. The day she got in there until now 2 weeks later is when its finally healing. She is picking up behaviors of the other kids, becoming a MAJOR BRAT and I do not want to deal with a huge brat at the age of 1. She is like a whole new baby I miss my nice little girl!! 

Im not all that sure if it all weighs out for me. So now, Im back home! Considering maybe taking Hayli to another daycare and working OR trying to find my own way to make money right here at home, with my girl.  

I see these mommy bloggers making what seems like tons of money from home doing what they love! What is the secret?! I just want to be able to make some type of income while taking care of my home, hubby and baby! How do moms get these brand rep and ambassador gigs?! How can I start a successfull youtube channel?! I have so many questions!!!

 

Postpartum Depression and Hair

Its been quite awhile since I last posted, took a bit of a breather from everything almost. Sometimes natural disasters have their way of putting people where they belong. In my case, Hurricane Irma just sucked, moved my life around a bit but couldn’t get me out of the keys 😋

After pregnancy and giving birth, I felt like I had lost myself. Got caught in what seemed to be like somewhat of a postpartum depression. I didn’t care what I looked like, I would forget to eat, or shower, everything was about the new baby, and I put myself last on the list. I felt like I didn’t have an identity anymore. I was just a mom, and I didn’t matter. My life was turning into a blur. I loved being a mom, it’s all I’d ever wanted. I would wake up and just experience the same cycle, no one is ever prepared for the way your life changes. I mean, everyone tells you, but you don’t really fully grasp what they say until you experience it for yourself. The highs and the lows. Your heart has never felt such love, your life has never seen such a beautiful reason, but your body has never felt such aches and pains, and your mind has never been so anxious and an emotional carnival. I lost sight of myself and I noticed it was taking a toll on everything. On me, my daughter, my relationship, my whole life really. People don’t realize how serious postpartum can get. Until one day I woke up and realized It was enough, I had to snap the fuck outta that one, make a change, and commit. And the only way I was going to begin acting the way my mind was thinking. It was the best way I know how to refresh myself, the woman’s right of passage into figuring out who they are, I died my hair. From my natural dirty blonde hair, I went to really, really blonde. I kept looking at myself in the mirror and kept thinking, blondes are too nice. DISCLAIMER I’m naturally a blonde and I want to return to blonde one day. I have nothing whatsoever against blondes. But it makes me the nice girl; it’s impossible for me to have made that change being an innocent, blonde. I mean, my mind, my body was asking for something a bit more drastic. so I went red. Fire bomb red, take no shit red, cliche as it sounds, my life changed all over again the moment I looked in the mirror after I saw my new look.

Since then I died it down to a wine red, but a change of scenery, if you will, was all I needed. Well that and ofcourse my heavy addiction to coffee to keep me awake throughout my daily adventures with my not so little baby girl.

I give it to you moms, who have dealt with, and are dealing with postpartum, sometimes it’s not as easy as just dying your hair, or taking a day off. It’s some serious business and I hope you each find your own healthy outlet to get you back to yourself !! As women we are strong and if we can deal with our children, pregnancy, child birth, and our husbands, we can get over any other obstacles! 💪🏻