Another One?! 2 by TWO?!

Scared, excited, anxious, full of love…These were just some of the emotions that rushed through me, (with major goosebumps) as I stared at the test. I looked up from that positive test, and saw my firstborn, the love of my life, my whole entire world, twirling around in a roll of toilet paper dancing to her own tune.. My precious girl, my best friend, that’s when the tears came. How your world is about to change.

Finding out we are bringing another bundle of joy into this world was a roller coaster of emotions. The first time I was pregnant, I was scared, of EVERYTHING. I doubted my potential of a mother, I questioned my teenage (I was 20) relationship, what my parents would think, how my life would change!? EVERYTHING was up in the air.

This time, I know Im an amazing mother 😉 , Leo and I are more mature now, we’ve been together for quite awhile, and well we’ve survived our first year and a half of parenthood, and well the pregnancy was no joke either! We seem to have a deeper understanding and we’ve really grown as a couple, so there’s another plus. My parents love my daughter to death, and honestly I’ve done amazing with my first and I dont ask them for anything so really…who the hell cares?! Haha!

My only roadblock, is our daughter?! My time wont be all hers in a couple months, I wont be able to spend my days doing what SHE wants. And I don’t know how I feel about it. I will be giving her the gift of a sibling, a lifelong best friend. A play mate when I can’t be. The deepest and most precious bond of a sibling.

But she is so young, will she understand that? Will she think we’re replacing her? That we dont love her?!

Not only that, but I still have days where I can’t get everything done, the household chores get the best of me, how will it be with two?!

Hayli will turn 2 years old a month before baby #2 is due, the countdown begins, and the last months of just me and her also begin..

Where did my little girl go.. 

always

We HAVE ALL been there. Those days of sheer frustration. Things don’t always go as planned, in life, or in mommyhood. Take a deep breath because…. that’s OKAY.

Anyone who has had little ones knows there are days when the sun is shining through every inch of their skin like if they ate the sun, happy as can be. Then .. there’s those days where they can be compared to a crawling, walking, babbling miniature gremlins. BUT HEY we all have our good and bad days !! Sometimes I really don’t know how I am going to get through the day or hold myself together long enough for Hayli’s dad to come home and have some actual human interaction besides baby talk babbling and “Finding Dory”.

DISCLAIMER: I love my daughter, more than anyone else in this world. I want nothing but the best for her and I want nothing more then to be the best mommy to her! I am more than sure there a few of you can relate !

 

ON THOSE DAYS

On those days where I am holding on to every last ounce of my patience for dear life

 

I just think how she needs me more than ever now, as she is  learning, growing and she needs the reassurance that someone is there. MOM is here, and always will be. No matter how many things I need to get done, how much of a mess my house is or how much of a break I need for myself, if she needs me, I will drop everything for her. Whether its a tantrum now, at her first school game, her first fall off of a bike, her first heartbreak, for ANYTHING I am here.

I am the one who will teach her what love, patience, and comfort is, well her dad and I. For now, I am with her all day, every day. These are the moments that I am going to cherish for the rest of my days. Its important to STOP and live the moment with her.

CRAWL around with your babies, play hide and seek, do things THEY LOVE. Get down to their level, into their little WORLD. You have no idea how much they need that, to feel like you are there for the good as much as the bad. And how much they will LOVE it.

 

I crawled with Hayli the other day, (Yes i got down and spent half an hour chasing her around the house, and letting her chase me) you have no IDEA how much that little girl laughed, and how excited she was.

Yesterday Hayli girl was sleeping so peacefully in her crib after having a rough afternoon, I couldn’t help myself but to get in with her. She woke a few minutes later when she heard her dad come home, but she woke up to me. She did a whole double take, like if she couldn’t believe it and just started laughing and hugging me. She wont remember that one day, she probably already forgot. I didn’t, I never will.

But the feeling of joy that gave her, will ALWAYS be there. And one day she will be able to understand more than she does now, that for anything she can come to her momma.

 

 

Read at your own risk

Pregnancy is a magical time in your life where a gallon of coffee is NEEDED but a cup a day is ‘safe’ and you wish you were filled with taco’s instead of emotions.

In the begining, brushing your teeth is something you dread because it’s instant morning sickness.

between the insomnia, heartburn, and an uncomfortable bulging belly who can sleep? Practice for the new baby some say? Me? Im not so sure.

Your dreams are on LSD. You can barely remember what you just did or what you were about to do. Who new pregnancy was just a long trip?

Sleep? That bitch ditched me.

So you stare at your husband jealous as hell and inconspicuously wake him up to suffer with you. Even though you’ll still lose because there is not enough darkness to put you to sleep at night but once you FINAALLY get comfortable enough to sleep, you have to pee! 🙂 And then sleep all day, ofcourse.

And then there’s .. wait for it…

PREGNANCY BRAIN

that will have you opening your front door with your car alarm, and losing your shit trying to find your phone, when it’s in your hand! 😀 (isn’t that fun?)

When your uncontrollable bladder is the only productive part of your body because you have to pee so you pee, and then after you pee you still have to pee, but you can’t pee.. because you just peed. YEAH THAT JUST HAPPENED. about 70 times a day.

OH YEAH! And once you’re in your 3rd trimester, DON’T SNEEZE unless you don’t mind peeing yourself a little at the same time.

The best part, after awhile, you can’t see your own lady parts anymore. And your skin, is no longer your friend because you will be wanting to scratch yourself like a cat with fleas but if you do… stretch marks so you sit there and get bullied by your own damn skin.

and ohhh the HORMONES!

When you can’t tell if it’s the pregnancy making you a bitch, or if you have a valid reason for your behavior. Because one second you’re a fun, loving woman who hugs her man like a teddy bear and in the blink of an eye, he turns into a disgusting roach that you can’t stand and need gone ^_^ or crying because Mcdonalds is all out of Sweet and Sour sauce so you feel like the world is plotting against you for sure, especially with that notorious broken ice cream machine!!

And you can’t forget the hunger! So tired of physically eating but you just can’t get enough of stuffing your face with anything that you can possibly think of. And those cravings that plague your husband in the middle of the night.. every night, and once he gets smart enough to start buying your cravings ahead of time, they change! :)) nauseous because your hungry buuut also can’t eat because guess what?! Nauseous. Or running to your neighbors house, 3 blocks away because whatever they are making, smells delish.

And to think that after all that chaos, you will feel weird to not be pregnant after you have your baby … the best part, YOUR AFTER BABY BODY like RIGHT AFTER will not last the swelling goes down and the burning stops. Life will be good again! SOON!!